Everyone’s got a theory about the Malaysian plane.
Some people online say it was hijacked to Diego Garcia, or to Iran (because, of course, two Iranian passengers had boarded with stolen passports in their attempt to get asylum in Europe away from Iran„ so I mean DUH they MUST have been involved. Riiiiight.). Some people say aliens. Some people say… well, everyone’s got a theory.
I’ve had like 15 different theories since the beginning of all this — seeing as the Malaysian Gov’t has amended, denied or about-faced on every little thing they’ve said, pretty much. One of the first “indications of deliberate, nefarious, diabolical action” was the ‘fact’ (in UMNO Malaysian Gov’t Land) that the ACARS had “been disabled” before the co-pilot — WHOOPS, the mystery voice — said “Alright, good night,” or “Goodnight, Malaysian Three Seven Zero”, or “Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are”, or whatever the geniuses in the Malaysian Clouseau Investigation Unit have proclaimed it to be most recently.
In fact, the ACARS (Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System) had transmitted a burst at 1:07 AM, and was not due to transmit again until 1:37AM, when it did not. Apparently no-one in the Mr. Bean Honorary Investigation Unit never bothered to, like, call Boeing and say “Tell me about the ACARS, a little.”
ANYWAY, the whole early part of the “investigation” was colored by this sloppy, incorrect, unvetted, astonishingly stupid assertion. And it has continued in that vein (to some extent).
I guess the Malaysian Honorary Maxwell Smart Investigation Team is now saying that they are hoping they’ll find some survivors. ! Guess they got ‘smarted’ from the uproar of reaction when the PM declared “all passengers are dead” a couple weeks ago, sans any physical evidence allowing for that sort of definitive declaration. So now they’re backpedaling and trying to be ‘sensitive’. With all the sensitivity of a Louie DePalma. Or, no, I’ll stick with Inspector Clouseau. Without the lovable charm.
These are also the same impartial honorable folk who Made An Announcement several weeks ago that the Pilot Had Deleted Some Files On His Simulator. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod itmusthavebeenhim, he DELETED SOME FILES!!!!!1
They ANNOUNCED this. They didn’t just, y’know, include in their “information” pressers that the flight simulator had been cleared of any suspicious content in the easily-available files, but they hadn’t delved into the deleted files yet, so the investigation was ongoing… No, they made a point to ANNOUNCE that they had DISCOVERED THAT THE PILOT HAD [collective gasp] DELETED SOME FILES.
Because, y’know, deleting files is an extraordinary act that no-one ever does on their computer.
ANYWAY, enough random venting here… here is my *ahem* theory — one of many I’ve had, I mean not so much ‘theories’ as, y’know, the thoughts one mulls and tosses about when thinking about this remarkable mystery of Flight MH370.
[NB: Chris Goodfellow’s “simple solution” is the stepping-off point for this, but I have some additional thoughts.]
Even though pilot suicide — or, really, pilot (or co-pilot) mass murder / suicide — was my ‘theory’ earlier… now, with some of the early ‘investigational’ erroneous assumptions / ‘facts’ corrected — now, I’m wondering if maybe the “fire or smoke or electrical short” theory could fit.
Maybe Mr. Shah did indeed “deliberately divert the plane” — via the Flight Management System — in order to ensure that, if they were unable to function / breathe / live and land the plane at Pulau Langkawi, they would at LEAST not fly blind and dead into wherever the hell the plane happened to end up. Maybe a crew battling impossible smoke might want to program in a SPECIFIC flight-path, one far from land, one that does not encroach on any country’s radar and potentially freak out a jittery government, incite a military response / overreaction, a path that CANNOT allow the plane to crash on land and possibly kill people on the ground (though unlikely) — a route that, whether the plane succumbs to the fire or electrical problem or whatever the fuck in 3 minutes, in 30 minutes or in 6 hours when it runs out of fuel, in ALL those eventualities it would crash INTO THE SEA — not harming anyone other than the doomed crew and passengers. To an experienced, able pilot — one who is an “aviation geek” who loves flying and tries to keep up his aviation chops — letting a plane chaotically go wherever it happens to go, should it survive the humans aboard, must be anathema. The plane could also — if allowed to fly mindlessly “wherever”, after the crew is unable to maintain consciousness — could also have caused disaster in the air, colliding with some other aircraft.
Programming in a specific set of navigational waypoints in the Flight Management System so that the plane would at least NOT HARM anyone or anything on the ground — could that not have been what (presumably) Shah might have done?
The mantra of pilots is Aviate, Navigate, Communicate. In that order. If they were also dealing with a desperate attempt to Respirate — maybe the Aviate and Navigate imperitives became a valiant attempt to assure that the plane would go where HE wanted it to go, even post-mortem — as long as the plane was flying.
The consequences of a plane surviving its crew and passengers and flying “wherever” could be disastrous. A nice flyover of Pakistan? India? Naw. No-one would be alarmed by a communication-less aircraft headed their way. They’d be chill. “No worries”. Nothing bad could result from that!
I don’t know why or how the transponder and the radio would be nonfunctional. I really don’t know anything about that sort of stuff. But is it THAT unlikely that an electrical catastrophe, or toxic smoke and fumes from a mislabeled cargo of lithium batteries, would either disable some electrical systems, or impel the pilot(s) to turn off electrical systems, after which the imperative to Respirate became the top priority? Maybe ascending to 45,000 feet in order to starve a fire? Maybe even deliberately depressurizing at that altitude as well to evacuate toxic, unbreathable air while they relied briefly on oxygen masks / canisters?
I could be wrong on all this. I know nothing really about planes. I’m not Columbo, Monk or House. But seeing as the very first “facts” about this flight were in fact misinformation, sloppy, half-assed untruths (the ACARS / transponder / “goodnight” timing) that led ‘everyone’ to head in the direction of ‘diabolical intent’ right from the start — maybe we’re seeing it all with the paranoid eyes of a post-9/11 world, and not seeing something else.
I hope they find both black boxes. Wouldn’t it be astonishing if no nefarious intent was involved at all — instead, some terrible, horribly-timed sequence of events (anyone ever see the movie “Fate Is the Hunter?) that led the pilot to program in a Flight to the Indian Ocean to ensure that only they were doomed — and not anyone on the ground, not any other aircraft, not any horrible political fallout that might result from a transponder-less plane flying wildly near various jittery countries. Maybe Mr. Shah was thinking “Respirate — no, cant. But damn well gonna Aviate and Navigate.”
And maybe the “Communicate” part was spent communicating with a panicky crew and passengers, and instructing them.
Or maybe in the cabin they all expired from malfunctioning oxygen masks at 45,000 feet, and when he found that the fire was quelled but the people had all died, he did an “Oh, well, what the hell” like McWatt and flew into the ocean…
Who the fuck knows. I don’t.. But I wanted to vent a little.
I’ll probably turn out to be wrong, and for all I know a pilot can’t just “program a series of navigational waypoints” into the FMS… but isn’t that how most air navigation is done?
I do hope we find out, in any case.
Thanks for listening.
Over and out.