April 2011
1 post
My Flaky Following Style- Or, How I Learned to...
I’m at the library for a sec before grabbing lunch and heading home before the Bacchanal tonight, and thought I’d slap on some words I *attempted* to Tumblog last night via my trusty LG cell phone during my bus-ride home from haircut. While my LG VX5500 is my faithful Twitter accomplice and enabler, it’s diesel-powered and it wouldn’t enter more than a paragraph or two on...
1 tag
12 Angry Twitterers
aaronginsburg:
[Many of you lovely followers requested the transcript of my fictional experience trapped in the Oscar nominated film #12AngryMen. Here are the tweets… in order… all the way to the surprising verdict. Enjoy!]
*Disclaimer: This is NOT real. Please stop calling me, LA Courthouse!
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I was rooting for a hung jury.
March 2011
3 posts
I DO NOT LIKE THIS TIGER BLOOD - A Dr. Seuss /...
(as channeled through @BeccaPiano)
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Hello. I’m sure you know me, bro.
I’m winning, and I love my blow.
I’ve made the rounds and told my tale
I’m winning. WIN! I cannot fail.
I used to hang at sleazy bars
Cuz I’m a rock star, born on Mars.
I am of such stuff as sheens are made on.
I’m gold. I’m lead....
Megan Amram: Dear Charlie Sheen →
meganamram:
DEAR CHARLIE: I hope you can help with an etiquette question. Is it rude for me to ask for an extra invite to my friend’s wedding? – DONNA MURRAY, KANSAS CITY, KS
DEAR DONNA: Donna. Donna. Or should I say, “Jew-Harpy Stephen Spielberg.” This is all about YOU isn’t it. You JEW-CLOWN, this is…
August 2010
1 post
"Gov For Sale" - an Anti-paeon to Our Felonious...
I wrote a bunch of song parodies a year-and-a-half ago, inspired (if you can call it that) by the corruptitudinous goings on of our coif-ilicious former Governor here in the great state of Illinois. I posted these song parodies (it’s text/lyrics only) on — please don’t guffaw too loudly — MySpace, just to stash ‘em somewhere. I think now is a propitious (?) time to...
February 2010
1 post
An Exercise in Fartility, or, How I Learned to...
I have been trying for over six months to get Twitter zendesk (better known as ‘Twitter Zoned-Out Desk’) to help me get back the Twitter regular (standard) site on my cell phone, which I used to use swimmingly for several months from my first day at Twitter nearly a year ago until last July, when suddenly my cell would not go to the standard site (twitter.com) but only go...
December 2009
1 post
Hot News Day.
Well said, sir. Well said.
Analogies are so excellent for purposes of satire; you’ll forgive me however if I also look forward with bated breath for the claymation version to come out. I’m sure Ray Harryhausen’s* rendition of DCA vs. Everyone Else will be AWESOME!
Cheers.
——————- *Or Nick Park.
...
November 2009
2 posts
I Finally Found My Identity - Through Twitter...
So happy, my identity’s been solidified! I am: A nerdy, underfollowed, chicagoish ‘witter’ of prodigious intellect, a sparkly-fizzy amusing jackass who’s never been in @EntropyAS’s kitchen, a musical find with whom @damselesque has never slept. I’m cheesecake who has been touched by @GorillaSushi, I’m one of kawasaki’s kids and might someday be...
August 2009
4 posts
Green, Health and Bam (A Dr. Seuss Story for the...
[Note: When trying to fix the inexplicably run-on, no-break formatting of this (NOT how I typed it), Tumblr wouldn’t let me, had “temporarily unavailable pages/functions”. I will fix it thru HTML when tumblr lets me. I know it’s awful without paragraph breaks & with too-wide line-spacing. I will fix when I can. Aaaaaaaaaargh. Thank you.]
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I am Bam
I...
Back at the Twaddle Again (Firesign Theatre/Becca)
BACK AT THE TWADDLE AGAIN
[Mostly a play on Firesign Theatre’s ‘Back From the Shadows Again’ from “I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus”, but also from original Gene Autry version ‘Back In the Saddle Again’. Both links below]
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The Twitterin’ Squat [singing]:
Back at the twaddle again! Here...
Back In the DDoS
The Beatles were always prescient. They knew ‘bout this before Twitter even existed.
Back With the DDoS
[sound of hackers typing]
Logged in from my yummy BB, what a breeze Thought I had the butthurt beat Oy, the way the Twitter site was on its knees Man, I need to drop a tweet They’re back with the DDoS! We don’t know how lucky we are, boy Back with the DDoS, yeah Been away...
July 2009
3 posts
No Apologies - or, The Mad Beer Party
What else could I do? All will have a brew. What else could I say? (Man this fight is gay!) How to make ‘em hear? Let’s just have a beer. What else could I do? Just drink up your brew. In the sun In the sun we drink as one In the sun In the sun “Obama!” “Yer Mama!” I wish I was like Bush Brain more like a tush Now we’re out of salt ...
I Am Following You
Well, I thought it was time to expand (in more literate & snarky fashion below) upon my occasional previous twts explaining WHY I don’t/can’t follow umpteen numbers of people, even extraordinarily witty people, and HOW I actually DO pretty much ‘follow’ those I find witty and original EVEN IF they’re not in my daily, automatic tweet-stream.
I sometimes find that...
June 2009
8 posts
The Britney's Back: An Ode to an Odious Bot ...
(Dedicated to all of us who are always *so* pleased to find Britney and her ‘friend’ back every, fuckin’, day. Isn’t there a spray for this?)
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I was terrified when went online Fuckin’ dame, huge dick in her eye ‘Names’ are changing, but that whore goes ‘Splat!’ [on my followers page]...
Pet-Sitting for Atomic Physicists -- A Cautionary...
Someone forgot to check on Schrödinger’s cat. Now he sits in his box, Half dead, waiting for kibbles. The atom didn’t decay, no poison was released — but the dumb putz who was supposed to feed the thing, didn’t. So in the quantum world of pet-sitting, there are no ifs, ands, or buts — If you like your cat — there’s no two ways about it —...
Down These Mean Tweets A Gal Must Go
“Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. The detective must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor. He talks as the man of his age talks, that is, with rude wit, a lively sense of the grotesque, a disgust for sham, and a contempt for pettiness.” -...
The Faven by Becca Illin Schmo (now fuller, more...
The Faven by Becca Illin Schmo - Now 90% More Epic!
(Inspired by @GPappalardo’s refrigerator-side vigil, eating grapes & pondering life) http://twitter.com/GPappalardo/statuses/2113871591
Sitting on my kitchen flooro, Facing my refridgy dooro Thinkin’ bout ol’ Moltz and morrow All those tweeters full of gore;
“‘Tis just Madness,” here I muttrd,” As my toast I jammed and buttrd,...
The Faven (Round One) by Becca Illin Schmo
(Inspired by @GPappalardo’s refrigerator-side vigil, eating grapes & pondering life) http://twitter.com/GPappalardo/statuses/2113871591
Sitting on my kitchen flooro, Facing my refridgy dooro Thinkin’ bout ol’ Moltz and morrow All those tweeters full of gore;
“‘Tis just Madness,” here I muttrd, As my toast I jammed and buttrd, “Sitting here all...