(as channeled through @BeccaPiano)

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Hello. I’m sure you know me, bro.

I’m winning, and I love my blow.

I’ve made the rounds and told my tale

I’m winning. WIN! I cannot fail.

I used to hang at sleazy bars

Cuz I’m a rock star, born on Mars.

I am of such stuff as sheens are made on.

I’m gold. I’m lead. I’m fuckin’ RADON.

It’s Tiger Blood runs in my veins.

I’ve a bitchin’, non-terrestrial brain.

It’s not a joke, no not a joke-at-all.

I’m fuckin’ HOT. I’m Eyjafjallajökull!

I live at home with goddess whores.

We live on milk, cake and s’mores.

I don’t do crack. I’ve tiger blood.

(Please tell me where they hid the drugs)

I’ve been around. And on the skids.

Make Keith and Mick seem armless kids.

Old Blue Eyes? Just a lame-ass dude

Compared to me. I’ve sharks for food.

You cannot process such as me.

Just test me. I have golden pee!

I do, I do, have Tiger Blood.

Please tell me where they’ve hid the crud.

I don’t need ‘hab. Or dumb AA.

Bill W.’s LAME! And likely gay.

I’VE GOT ADONIS DNA!

And Tiger Blood. Did I yet say?

I think the main thing is, I’m WINNING.

I’m done with that old Cocaine Sinning.

Let’s shout it out! I’m cured, I’m sane!

I’ve Tiger Blood. And E.T.’s Brain.

I’m WINNING! WINNING! WINNING! WINNING!

WINNING! -Why’s the room all spinning?

I — DO NOT LIKE THIS TIGER BLOOD!

Could I be HUMAN? Human, bud.

[Here’s where I leave the rest to Charlie

Can’t predict which way his gnarly

ass will go in coming daze.

Let’s hope he gets out of his maze.]

…Oh, and Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss, a man whose brand of nonsense is enduring and uplifting. The kind of nonsense we all appreciate.

~BeccaPiano